Why is it that when a woman has sex, she is "giving it away" or "giving it up" or "giving her body away". I never understood why for men the language switches and it becomes "he scored" or "he hit it" or "he got the draws". Why is it that sex in reference to men is a gain and sex in refernce to women is a loss?
Throughout time, women have been taught that the purpose of them having sex is for a few reasons; to have a child, to please their man, to express their love for their partner. None of which, are for her to please herself. These are some pretty good reasons don't get me wrong, however, why are we not taught to please ourselves. Yes, I know it is pleasing knowing that you are pleasing someone else. Yes I know that it is pleasing to concieve in have a child. I am not talking about those "mental pleasures".... I am talking about pure, physical, sexual, pleasure. Women are so left out of the sexual pleasure equation that in some african countries female circumcision is practiced making it nearly if not completely impossible for the woman to achieve orgasm.. Ever.
I remember talking to a female family member about sex one day. I can't remember all of the contents of the conversation, however I do recall her being puzzled about me actually enjoying sex. I will never forget her response to a comment I made. She said "so what you are saying is the act of sex is also enjoyable for you as well?". In my head I went back to 5th grade and actually wanted to say "duh". But my actual response was "yes. Why do you sound shocked?". She then responded, "I just feel differently." A lengthy list of questions went through my mind after this conversation. Is it normal for women not to enjoy sex? Is a woman supposed to be embarassed about her sexuality?
I remember talking to my best friend about sexuality and women and she made a comment that I definately took notice to. She said, " if I was a dude, I'd be a ho'. I'd fuck all the time. I wouldn't care." Now she, like myself is a very sexually free woman, so that just goes to show as women, even as sexually liberated women, she knows... We know that we can't fully express our sexuality as a man can.
Damn, excuse my french but its really something to think about. I am sexual, she is sexual, many women are highly sexual, however we have to pretend we are not because we don't get called players nor do we receive a high five. We get a "why is she giving herself away?" or "why is she letting men have their way with her?"
A message from me to all people who don't understand sexual women; I have scored on many ocassions. Every orgasm I have received was the bomb and it felt great. I like to express myself in a sexual manner and it feels good.... Sex feels good. People like sex.. I am a person... So yes I like sex. Not "like a man", like a woman that knows what time it is....... Oh yea, I have never "given" anything away... "It" is still right here enjoying ALL of the pleasures of sex down to the last drop!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
THE PERFECT STRANGER
What do you fantasize about? Is it that man that waited your table at the resturant? Is it having a threesome with your mate? Is it having sex in public? For a long time, I fantasized about having sex with an older stranger. Something about the excitement of a stranger and the experience of an older man was ever so sexy to me. It was a fantasy I had for years.
Walking to the store not too far from where I lived, I was stopped by this man. Nice looking, not a knock out, but nice. Well dressed and put together. He asked me how I was doing and my response was, "fine and yourself?" He replied, "fine."
We shared a pleasant exchange of small talk until he asked me if he could give me a call. Looking at the man, I could tell he was older. To the eye, he looked to be only slightly older, I would assume him to be 26-28. I asked him how old he was and he replied "39". That, I was not expecting. At the time I was 19 and never associated myself with a man of that age or any man over 3 years my senior for that matter. I quickly told him my age without him even asking and his response was "what? Is 39 too old for you?"
And just after he said that, the thought ran through my head, "this could be my fantasy man". Something about his reply told me that he was a very sexual man. That maybe I was also his fantasy. I then informed him that I would take down his number and call him. He looked disappointed, because usually that means the girl isn't going to call, but he agreed without argument to give me his number.
For a few days I thought about this, calling or texting him. But I was a bit nervous. Could I fufill my fantasy without a hitch? Could this be dangerous? I didn't know, but one night, at about 12 am, I decided to find out. I texted the stranger. My text was simple, it said "hello". I waited about 5 minutes until I received a text from him. His read, "who is this?"
"Oh yes how could I forget," I said to myself. This man doesn't have my number, he doesn't know who I am. I texted him back stating my name and describing myself. He realized who I was. After another exchange of small chat, as we had the day we met, I received a text saying, "excuse me, I'm not trying to be rude, but I should tell you I am a freak."
Jackpot. Over the next couple hours we chatted discussing our sex lives, our fantasies, sending dirty text. We decided to make plans to carry out my, I mean, our fantasies the next day(or that day technically speaking). I was so excited I could barely sleep. I fantasized all night.
He was on his way. I was so excited I had butterflies and to top it off it had been a while so not only was I going to fufill my long awaited fantasy, I was about to get some for the first time in a couple months. He picked me up and we went to his place. We didn't even wait to get back to his bedroom before we were tearing at eachothers clothes. He bends me over, teasing me, swiping his toungue across my clitoris only once. That sent me off!
I had to have it. Wanted it so bad. We made it to his bedroom where he laid me on his bed. He spread my pussy lips apart and started working me with his tongue. It felt so good I can't even describe. At this point I was almost to my orgasm point but I didn't want to orgasm that way. I wanted him inside me.
I lifted his face with my hand and told him to put on a condom and get in me. He happily obliged. He slowly put himself inside me taking long, slow strokes. I grabbed his lower back pushing him deeper inside. After he got my pussy warmed up, he started to speed up his pace. Pushing himself in me faster and faster. He could tell I was reaching my breaking point. Trust I let it be known. "Turn over," he said stern and sexy. That's right baby, tell me don't ask.
From the back he pushed himself inside. This is my favorite position so I was in complete heaven. He grabbed my shoulders and took long deep strides. The sound of his body slapping my ass turned me on even more. Gently, he pulled my hair as he went deep in me and leaned over to kiss my neck. My body broke down and I laid in the most vunerable position; flat on my stomache, with him pumping inside me from behind. I clinched my vaginal mucles so that he can feel me tightening and releasing as he stroked. This drove him to really give it to me. And just like that, I was done for. Like in a movie we orgasm in unison. It was the best sex I had ever had. He wanted to go to the movies after. I lied and said I had cheerleading practice. I wanted the experience to be what it was, an experience. Nothing more, and definatly nothing less.
Walking to the store not too far from where I lived, I was stopped by this man. Nice looking, not a knock out, but nice. Well dressed and put together. He asked me how I was doing and my response was, "fine and yourself?" He replied, "fine."
We shared a pleasant exchange of small talk until he asked me if he could give me a call. Looking at the man, I could tell he was older. To the eye, he looked to be only slightly older, I would assume him to be 26-28. I asked him how old he was and he replied "39". That, I was not expecting. At the time I was 19 and never associated myself with a man of that age or any man over 3 years my senior for that matter. I quickly told him my age without him even asking and his response was "what? Is 39 too old for you?"
And just after he said that, the thought ran through my head, "this could be my fantasy man". Something about his reply told me that he was a very sexual man. That maybe I was also his fantasy. I then informed him that I would take down his number and call him. He looked disappointed, because usually that means the girl isn't going to call, but he agreed without argument to give me his number.
For a few days I thought about this, calling or texting him. But I was a bit nervous. Could I fufill my fantasy without a hitch? Could this be dangerous? I didn't know, but one night, at about 12 am, I decided to find out. I texted the stranger. My text was simple, it said "hello". I waited about 5 minutes until I received a text from him. His read, "who is this?"
"Oh yes how could I forget," I said to myself. This man doesn't have my number, he doesn't know who I am. I texted him back stating my name and describing myself. He realized who I was. After another exchange of small chat, as we had the day we met, I received a text saying, "excuse me, I'm not trying to be rude, but I should tell you I am a freak."
Jackpot. Over the next couple hours we chatted discussing our sex lives, our fantasies, sending dirty text. We decided to make plans to carry out my, I mean, our fantasies the next day(or that day technically speaking). I was so excited I could barely sleep. I fantasized all night.
He was on his way. I was so excited I had butterflies and to top it off it had been a while so not only was I going to fufill my long awaited fantasy, I was about to get some for the first time in a couple months. He picked me up and we went to his place. We didn't even wait to get back to his bedroom before we were tearing at eachothers clothes. He bends me over, teasing me, swiping his toungue across my clitoris only once. That sent me off!
I had to have it. Wanted it so bad. We made it to his bedroom where he laid me on his bed. He spread my pussy lips apart and started working me with his tongue. It felt so good I can't even describe. At this point I was almost to my orgasm point but I didn't want to orgasm that way. I wanted him inside me.
I lifted his face with my hand and told him to put on a condom and get in me. He happily obliged. He slowly put himself inside me taking long, slow strokes. I grabbed his lower back pushing him deeper inside. After he got my pussy warmed up, he started to speed up his pace. Pushing himself in me faster and faster. He could tell I was reaching my breaking point. Trust I let it be known. "Turn over," he said stern and sexy. That's right baby, tell me don't ask.
From the back he pushed himself inside. This is my favorite position so I was in complete heaven. He grabbed my shoulders and took long deep strides. The sound of his body slapping my ass turned me on even more. Gently, he pulled my hair as he went deep in me and leaned over to kiss my neck. My body broke down and I laid in the most vunerable position; flat on my stomache, with him pumping inside me from behind. I clinched my vaginal mucles so that he can feel me tightening and releasing as he stroked. This drove him to really give it to me. And just like that, I was done for. Like in a movie we orgasm in unison. It was the best sex I had ever had. He wanted to go to the movies after. I lied and said I had cheerleading practice. I wanted the experience to be what it was, an experience. Nothing more, and definatly nothing less.
Friday, May 16, 2008
SPLASH WATERFALLS
"She wants it nice and slow/ kiss her from head to toe/ relax and let it go- say it!(make love to me) she wants it now and fast/ grabbin and smackin ass/ you gotta make it last- what?(fuck mee!)" _ splash waterfalls
I remember when this ludachris track had just came out. I listened to the words carefully and automatically got the concept. It was a pretty cool concept I may add. A rap song, describing the difference between making love and fucking. This wasn't the first or last time that we would be hearing about this said "difference". From ludachris to 50cent's "in da club" where he says "I'm into havin sex I aint into making love" we hear about this type of sex depicted as casual and this other type of sex held on a pedestal like is was the senior prom night of sex. So really what is the difference between the two? What constitues sex or as some like to call it "fucking" and what is "making love"?
I had always thought making love was when you have some type of emotional connection with someone therefore the sex is always passionate, sensual, and emotional. It was the type of sex where even if your partner wasn't the best when it came to the technicalities of sex such as always knowing how to hit that g-spot or having the biggest penis, the sex still felt great and beautiful because you cared so much about that person. The type of sex where you look into that persons eyes while you're going at it and you just want to hold them tighter and tighter and never let go.
I remember my bestfriend was dating this guy. She had fallen in love with him and always described their sex as beautiful. She would always say, "It wasn't the best I ever had, but I love him so much there's a lot of passion there". So with all that being said, it is easy to assess that people who are in love or at least in deep like make love, but do they fuck?
I asked this question to a male friend of mine and he said, "Yeah you can be in love and FUCK(nothing wrong with that) every now and then you wanna good screw!!! But making love is passionate and sensual, its different from fucking". This I could agree with, but with this answer, two more questions struck me; can you fuck passionatly? And can you make love on a one night stand in other words is making love merely another style of sex.
I know from my experiences, there had been times that I would "fuck" and it was still very passionate, sometimes emotional. The wild passionate kissing, the ripping eachothers clothes off, the hard deep thrust holding and squeezing eachother tight. And there had been times where I barely knew a man and though there was no emotional factor, the sex was soft, sensual, passionate, careful.
I mean, one would think listening to the phrase "making love" and breaking the two words down, you wouldn't have to be IN love to MAKE love. After all it is called MAKING- love, do you have to be in a sweater to make a sweater? Thinking about it, my oppinion is if fucking is a style of sex and those who are in love can fuck, then those who are having casual sex can make love. Maybe making love has nothing to do with being in love and less to do with emotion. Maybe its mainly about how you go about putting it down. Rather than being hard and rough and doing all these wild nasty positions, you're being soft and sensual.
I would have to say that there is a fine line between fucking and making love. The two are different, however who is to say the love is the prerequisite for either act? I'd say I don't believe making love has too much to do with love or even liking someone on "that level", but there is a definate difference between when you are having casual sex and when you love or are in deep like with someone. The difference is sacredness. The time you spend with the person you love is sacred so yes it will be beautiful whether he is super great at sex or not. All the beautiful things I described earlier about making love can pertain to fucking if you are in love(or deep like) with someone because it will feel passionate whether he is softly holding your face or roughly grabbing you hair.
So what's the difference between making love and fucking? The style in which you put it down. Nice and slow vs. Now and fast. Kissing from head to toe vs. Grabbing and smacking ass.
I remember when this ludachris track had just came out. I listened to the words carefully and automatically got the concept. It was a pretty cool concept I may add. A rap song, describing the difference between making love and fucking. This wasn't the first or last time that we would be hearing about this said "difference". From ludachris to 50cent's "in da club" where he says "I'm into havin sex I aint into making love" we hear about this type of sex depicted as casual and this other type of sex held on a pedestal like is was the senior prom night of sex. So really what is the difference between the two? What constitues sex or as some like to call it "fucking" and what is "making love"?
I had always thought making love was when you have some type of emotional connection with someone therefore the sex is always passionate, sensual, and emotional. It was the type of sex where even if your partner wasn't the best when it came to the technicalities of sex such as always knowing how to hit that g-spot or having the biggest penis, the sex still felt great and beautiful because you cared so much about that person. The type of sex where you look into that persons eyes while you're going at it and you just want to hold them tighter and tighter and never let go.
I remember my bestfriend was dating this guy. She had fallen in love with him and always described their sex as beautiful. She would always say, "It wasn't the best I ever had, but I love him so much there's a lot of passion there". So with all that being said, it is easy to assess that people who are in love or at least in deep like make love, but do they fuck?
I asked this question to a male friend of mine and he said, "Yeah you can be in love and FUCK(nothing wrong with that) every now and then you wanna good screw!!! But making love is passionate and sensual, its different from fucking". This I could agree with, but with this answer, two more questions struck me; can you fuck passionatly? And can you make love on a one night stand in other words is making love merely another style of sex.
I know from my experiences, there had been times that I would "fuck" and it was still very passionate, sometimes emotional. The wild passionate kissing, the ripping eachothers clothes off, the hard deep thrust holding and squeezing eachother tight. And there had been times where I barely knew a man and though there was no emotional factor, the sex was soft, sensual, passionate, careful.
I mean, one would think listening to the phrase "making love" and breaking the two words down, you wouldn't have to be IN love to MAKE love. After all it is called MAKING- love, do you have to be in a sweater to make a sweater? Thinking about it, my oppinion is if fucking is a style of sex and those who are in love can fuck, then those who are having casual sex can make love. Maybe making love has nothing to do with being in love and less to do with emotion. Maybe its mainly about how you go about putting it down. Rather than being hard and rough and doing all these wild nasty positions, you're being soft and sensual.
I would have to say that there is a fine line between fucking and making love. The two are different, however who is to say the love is the prerequisite for either act? I'd say I don't believe making love has too much to do with love or even liking someone on "that level", but there is a definate difference between when you are having casual sex and when you love or are in deep like with someone. The difference is sacredness. The time you spend with the person you love is sacred so yes it will be beautiful whether he is super great at sex or not. All the beautiful things I described earlier about making love can pertain to fucking if you are in love(or deep like) with someone because it will feel passionate whether he is softly holding your face or roughly grabbing you hair.
So what's the difference between making love and fucking? The style in which you put it down. Nice and slow vs. Now and fast. Kissing from head to toe vs. Grabbing and smacking ass.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
THE SEXUALLY LIBERATED WOMAN VS. THE HO'
Conversing with friends about sex is something that I do often. It is something women do often and men alike, however, I will admit I pick and choose the friends that I do talk to about sex. I have friends that are like me, very sexually liberated. Then I have other friends who aren't very sexual at all. Well recently the topic of sex was brought up with that "other group of friends". At first, I figured it was going to be a very unpleasant debate. The virgin vs. The whore heavyweight battle. It started somewhat hostile... Then a question came about that settled things down a bit because it was a question I had thought about in my head many times before. My friend said "stesha, you call some girls loose and some girls a ho', but really, what is the difference between what you do and what they do?"
Really I was happy the question was asked and I am happy to repeat the answer now. Lets look at the question again in a more general sense; what is the difference between a ho' and a woman who is sexually liberated? It is plain and simple, "ho's" always have an alternate reason for having sex. Either they are getting paid, getting attention, want to keep a man, want to fit in, want want want everything else besides an orgasm. Some women that are ho's don't even like sex, they like what they are getting out of it. They like that they are acheiving their alternate goal. Now a sexually liberated woman just likes sex. Plain and simple. She wants her body to be pleased. She knows what she wants and acts upon it. If I want to have sex, I don't pretend as though I don't want it.. I just do it.
Beyond having an alternate reason for having sex, ho's generally have no respect for themselves or their bodies. They have sex without protection and get talked into compromising positions just to please someone else or to get what they want even if it is dangerous. They subject themselves to things they really don't want to do but feel they have to in order to reach their alternate goal. They often have no limits or standards because good sex is not their goal and they often don't care about the cost to reach whatever goal they have.
I mean look at the word "ho'" from a deeper standpoint. What's the origin of the word? Ho' is derived from the word "hooker" and hooker is described as one who hooks or snares CLIENTS. A client is described as a person who is served by or utilizes the services of a social agency. So when a woman has sex with a man to get her off is he her client? Is she servicing him? Is he paying for this service. Maybe with a true ho' he is, in one way or another be it money or be it attention, but with sexually liberated woman... Well.. The answer is in the word liberated. I will digress, but just something to keep on your mind.
Really I was happy the question was asked and I am happy to repeat the answer now. Lets look at the question again in a more general sense; what is the difference between a ho' and a woman who is sexually liberated? It is plain and simple, "ho's" always have an alternate reason for having sex. Either they are getting paid, getting attention, want to keep a man, want to fit in, want want want everything else besides an orgasm. Some women that are ho's don't even like sex, they like what they are getting out of it. They like that they are acheiving their alternate goal. Now a sexually liberated woman just likes sex. Plain and simple. She wants her body to be pleased. She knows what she wants and acts upon it. If I want to have sex, I don't pretend as though I don't want it.. I just do it.
Beyond having an alternate reason for having sex, ho's generally have no respect for themselves or their bodies. They have sex without protection and get talked into compromising positions just to please someone else or to get what they want even if it is dangerous. They subject themselves to things they really don't want to do but feel they have to in order to reach their alternate goal. They often have no limits or standards because good sex is not their goal and they often don't care about the cost to reach whatever goal they have.
I mean look at the word "ho'" from a deeper standpoint. What's the origin of the word? Ho' is derived from the word "hooker" and hooker is described as one who hooks or snares CLIENTS. A client is described as a person who is served by or utilizes the services of a social agency. So when a woman has sex with a man to get her off is he her client? Is she servicing him? Is he paying for this service. Maybe with a true ho' he is, in one way or another be it money or be it attention, but with sexually liberated woman... Well.. The answer is in the word liberated. I will digress, but just something to keep on your mind.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
the biggest OH MY
May 8th 2008 I had the most intense orgasm I have ever had in my life. Years of sexual experience and the biggest orgasm of my life was giving to me by a mna younger than me. Not only this, but I have been a woman to say " oral sex is overated, I get more stimulation through "normal" intercourse" and the biggest orgasm of my life was given to me by a man giving me head. I met this young man through a friend of mine and he seemed like your normal super friendly guy with a good sense of humor. We chatted through AOL instant messenger for a couple days then finally decided to hang out at his house.
Conventional setting for the average college student. We watch a movie and talked a bit. Looking around, I focus my attention upon a rubix cube. I picked it up and as I fumbled around with it, he explained to me that he had never solved the whole cube. He did however say he was able to solve one side of the cube.
After my failed attemps at it, he showed me that he could solve it once. After I jokingly said his accomplishment was based on luck, he placed a wager, " if i can solve one side again, then you have to give me a kiss". I agreed to this bet obviously hoping to "lose". Again he sovles one side. Now, I am thing we would share a short, sweet kiss, but when I tell you we start full on making out I don't think you would know the half of it.
Our lips parted and he said "lets go back to my room". I agreed. Through the kissing and fondling, he attempted to unbutton my pants. But I refused to let anything happend that night. I wanted him to lust for me more.
I knew that the more he wanted me, the more intense it would be. He whispered " I just want to give you head". Those words were magic, but still I waited. Through my kisses, my touches, my sent, I was building up a craving for me. And when I left that night I knew he'd want me. And the more he wanted me and thought about me, the more he'd want to put it down.
The next time we met, we went straight to his room. We kissed and fondled some more. He made a point to get me to the point where I wouldn't refuse him, little did he know I wasn't planing on doing so. He started at my neck, my spot, he then traveled to my breast and drew his tongue down my stomach and kissed my hip bone.
He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled my pants off. It was time for me to "give in". He placed his tongue on my clit and from that point I was in ecstacy. The feel was unreal it was as if every spot I wanted lick, every spot I wanted sucked her could read my sexual thoughts. Oh when the orgasm came, it was so intense I had to tell him to get off of me. It was so intense I was sensetive to touch.
The best orgasm ever in my sexual history. And the funny part about it. That's REALLY all wanted to do. He got what he wanted, and I definatly got what I wanted.
Conventional setting for the average college student. We watch a movie and talked a bit. Looking around, I focus my attention upon a rubix cube. I picked it up and as I fumbled around with it, he explained to me that he had never solved the whole cube. He did however say he was able to solve one side of the cube.
After my failed attemps at it, he showed me that he could solve it once. After I jokingly said his accomplishment was based on luck, he placed a wager, " if i can solve one side again, then you have to give me a kiss". I agreed to this bet obviously hoping to "lose". Again he sovles one side. Now, I am thing we would share a short, sweet kiss, but when I tell you we start full on making out I don't think you would know the half of it.
Our lips parted and he said "lets go back to my room". I agreed. Through the kissing and fondling, he attempted to unbutton my pants. But I refused to let anything happend that night. I wanted him to lust for me more.
I knew that the more he wanted me, the more intense it would be. He whispered " I just want to give you head". Those words were magic, but still I waited. Through my kisses, my touches, my sent, I was building up a craving for me. And when I left that night I knew he'd want me. And the more he wanted me and thought about me, the more he'd want to put it down.
The next time we met, we went straight to his room. We kissed and fondled some more. He made a point to get me to the point where I wouldn't refuse him, little did he know I wasn't planing on doing so. He started at my neck, my spot, he then traveled to my breast and drew his tongue down my stomach and kissed my hip bone.
He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled my pants off. It was time for me to "give in". He placed his tongue on my clit and from that point I was in ecstacy. The feel was unreal it was as if every spot I wanted lick, every spot I wanted sucked her could read my sexual thoughts. Oh when the orgasm came, it was so intense I had to tell him to get off of me. It was so intense I was sensetive to touch.
The best orgasm ever in my sexual history. And the funny part about it. That's REALLY all wanted to do. He got what he wanted, and I definatly got what I wanted.
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